Telling children about a divorce requires gentleness and love

On behalf of Loughmiller Higgins, Attorneys at Law posted in Divorce on Thursday, May 10, 2012.

Texas parents going through a divorce experience many tough times, but one of the toughest moments is when it comes time to talk to your children about it. Many times, the children may feel overwhelmed by the decision. Later, they may feel as though they are being pressured to like one parent more than the other, which can make them feel torn. However, while this subject may be difficult, there are some ways that parents can help their children get through the divorce.

For one, parents should not speak badly about the other parent. Doing so in the child’s presence can make children feel like they have to choose between the “good” parent and the “bad” parent. Furthermore, you should not try to win over the children by telling them the particulars of adult matters. Often, this can simply confuse the child and make them feel more anxious about the divorce. Finally, it is important to not fight with your ex while the children are watching.

While there are a lot of things that the parents should not do, there are also a lot of things that the parents can do to help their children through this difficult time. One important thing is to tell the children over and over again that the divorce is not their fault. Though some children know intellectually that they are not the reason for the divorce, they may blame themselves anyway, so this reassurance can be helpful. Furthermore, you should strive to create an atmosphere where the child feels comfortable to be open around both parents, especially during the divorce.

While a divorce can be a hard thing for any Texas family to confront, sometimes it is necessary and even beneficial for children in the long-run. After all, though initially it can be hard, a divorce may allow children to be part of a more loving environment. For those involved, it is certainly hoped that the parents will continue to support their children in any endeavors that the child may face.

Source: Huffington Post, “Divorce Questions: How Do I Tell My Kids We’re Getting A Divorce?” April 28, 2012

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