The dangers of self-soothing after a Texas divorce

On behalf of Loughmiller Higgins, Attorneys at Law posted in Divorce on Thursday, June 6, 2013.

The act of self-soothing is a common human reaction to a stressful or troubling experience. Babies self-sooth by way of a pacifier or blankie. College students rely on a lucky shirt to get through exam week. While the urge to rely on soothing behaviors to get through periods of stress is understandable, there are instances in which self-soothing can actually bring more harm than good. Texas spouses who are going through a divorce should be aware of the risks inherent in self-soothing, and seek to avoid negative habits while they move through and beyond the experience.

One common self-soothing behavior involves spending money. Newly divorced spouses often feel the urge to take action to wipe away lingering negative emotions resulting from the end of their marriage. Whether it comes in the form of an expensive vacation or a new addition to the house, spending large sums of money during this time is not a wise decision.

A better approach would be to sit down and map out one’s goals for the coming months and years. Once a clear path has been established, it is easier to work out the steps that must be taken in order to achieve those goals. In this way, an individual is taking control over his or her own financial future, instead of undermining their financial security by inappropriate spending.

This is not to say that a weekend road trip or new piece of furniture is not a well-deserved treat after the dust of a divorce has settled. The important thing is to understand how to best put your money to work for your ultimate goals, and to budget for any extra expenses accordingly. Once a Texas resident is able to identify and recognize self-soothing behaviors, it is far easier to re-channel that energy into more productive endeavors.

Source: Huffington Post, “Did You Financially Self-Soothe After Your Divorce?” Diane L. Danois, May 21, 2013

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